Support Or Co-Dependency?

Is Aydan and Hellhound’s relationship a healthy source of mutual support and healing, or a destructive co-dependency that prevents both of them from resolving their past personal issues and moving on?

9 thoughts on “Support Or Co-Dependency?

  1. I’d have to say, it’s good for them.
    But I’m single and have been for a lot longer than I’ve been in relationships so what would I know.

    I love the relationship between Aydan and Arnie. And I love the books.

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  2. Their relationship is both of their’s “safe place”. Is this good or bad, support or co-dependency? My answer is all of the above. Arnie gets Aydan and vice versa. This is good because neither has to try and conform to the other’s wants. When they are feeling beat up from the world they can turn to each other and just exist with no expectations. This is the good the support part of their relationship. The flip side is they are both damaged (hence their understanding of the other) but neither is pushing the other towards healing, not really. And as 2BookBithches mentioned they are not working out their issues.

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  3. They both have a lot of miles on them, and those miles were hard ones. They’ve found a safe place with each other. Is it a healthy place long-term? Not a clue. (We’ve established that I am completely unable to predict any part of the plots, haven’t we?)

    Both clearly have affection for the other, they are comfortable with each other, and both are willing to protect the other with their lives. To me, their relationship isn’t broke. No need to fix it. Just let it play out.

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  4. I think Arnie and Aydan are mutually supportive and Arnie especially is pushing Aydan towards healing her wounds. Aydan is a healing person for Arnie without forcing him into any uncomfortable self-examination. She is there for him, and loves him and demands only what he is more than willing to give. The same is true for Arnie loving Aydan and being each other’s safe place. The new ink on his chest testifies to this with the gentle hands holding his broken heart and angel wings offering protection. What a lovely image that is, Diane. The chapter in Spy Away Home where Arnie steps in to stop the BS commitment between Aydan and John was brilliant. Arnie was acting out of love for his best friends, not out of jealousy, demanding that they be totally truthful about their fears and needs and let each other be free. He demanded that they each heal themselves before they commit to anyone else. God, I love Arnie! I think their relationship is the best thing each has and with time, may be healing enough that each might eventually be sufficiently healed to allow for other options. What those options might be are likely churning around in your imagination and I will be patient and await eagerly for the path they take to develope in the next book(s).

    I see nothing unhealthy in what they have together.

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  5. I’m with Jim, SRG and El Tea. I think they are just fine and though progress may be slow, progress is happening and in the meantime they are the best support for each other.

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  6. Although I love the both of them together, I do feel like their relationship is a form of codependency.
    Defined: Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.
    While the wording of the definition is strong and paints a grim picture, Aydan and Arnie both suffer from some form of ‘poor mental health’.
    With Arnie we’ve seen the proof with his family and his upbringing. I feel he hasn’t faced the past issues of his brothers actions against his girlfriend and unborn child – and thus can’t form a “healthy” relationship because of fear of that loss being repeated.
    With Aydan we saw proof from the actions of her ass of an ex husband. I still believe that there must be something more from her childhood that is subconsciously effecting her adult relationships as well….but I’m not psychologist, so what do I know?!??!

    Having said all of this, I don’t believe that either are intentionally hurting the other. They do have genuine feelings towards each other, and they do want what’s best for the other, but they make it easy for each other to play it safe and not look into the “why” of their dislike of a permanent, monogamous relationship.

    Since this is a book, and Arnie is written hot as hell… I completely understand Aydan being happy and comfortable where she is with him….I wouldn’t mind an Arnie in my life!! 😉

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