Two Guys, One Girl – What Do You Think?

How do you feel about the fact that Aydan has physical relationships with two men concurrently?  What makes you feel that way?  How would your opinion change if Aydan were a male involved with two females?

48 thoughts on “Two Guys, One Girl – What Do You Think?

  1. I love it, ive done it myself so I can’t judge other for doing the same thing now can I it wouldn’t be fair at all.

    I don’t think id change my opinion if it was a guy and two ladies id say fair play to him.

    I admit I’m quite liberal but maybe its coz I’m still young (yes I am still young I’m not at 40 yet 😉 )

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am not sure age has any factor in this. If all parties know the 411 at the beginning and truely understand, then no harm. I think it is the knowing and understanding in this situation that is key. Age is not.

      I personally have only been in one relationship and it was monogamous (married), however if I am ever at a point in my life where I am alone I would probably engage in relationships Aydan’s way. So as you, no judgement on my part.

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  2. Honestly I don’t have a problem with it in the context given. Aydan has been perfectly clear from the get go she was not interested in any relationships. Just friends with benefits. The men in her life have agreed to her terms (well John is having difficulty), so there is no problem. She is up front at the beginning before anything physical happened. Aydan is not a young woman(not old either), she is one who has had 2 committed relationships (one good, one bad), and knows what those entail. She wants to live life differently right now…with sex as an outlet, a means of comfort, or just being closer to another human being…but it is to be for the moment, not for anything more. Another thing is she is friends with both men, she hasn’t had sex (yet) as a brief encounter between strangers. So in my mind she is not promiscuous. Having a physical relationship with more then one guy with these factors makes it okay in my eyes.
    If Aydan were male with 2 females, the same things apply. If the male is upfront and the females are okay with it, then no problems. Arnie had sex with others and I never thought less of him.
    I will admit I feel a little different about John though. He is more…I don’t know…it is just different with him and he rubs me the wrong way. If Aydan and John never have a physical relationship again I would be happy. He is not true to Aydan or himself or anyone else he has sex with. Where as Aydan and Arnie are committed to being in NO relationships…this makes them true to each other. It makes there sex with others okay. John is different…I’m probably not making sense….just chalk it up to ramblings of a middle age nut.

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    1. I wonder about the issue of having a protagonist behaving promiscuously. I think anyone who has continued to read past the first two or three “Never Say Spy” books is thinking that Aydan’s behavior with John and Arnie is understandable and okay. Those who can’t deal with the current love triangle probably cut and ran a long time ago.

      They may look unfavorably upon Arnie’s promiscuous behavior with other women. Do they or I judge him for it? Me, not really. It is understandable with his personal history for him to avoid committed relationships. What choices remain for him? I find it very interesting that Arnie has lately dropped his persuit of one night stands. It seems he prefers a sort of monotony with Aydan than his normal level of one night stands. Pretty normal after all, eh?

      If the person having multiple partners were Aydan, not Arnie, would we be so understanding? With the right backstory and upfront honesty and mindfulness about avoiding STDs, I think so. I think a lot of the concern is all about unwanted pregnancies and health risks and to a lesser degree, one’s mental well-being. Aydan has no worries about unplanned pregnancies and except for the first day with John, she protects her health. If she had sex at every opportunity with Tom, Dante, and Dave for example, I don’t think her mental health would have suffered at all. She would have just made a hasty trip to the bathroom with backpack in hand to hide her pistol and kept things casual otherwise.

      Would I personally make those same choices? I doubt it. But I try not to judge others choices by my own ethics. On the other hand, if someone has explained their moral code to me and then lives a world apart from their own moral code, I do think less of their behavior.

      I think of my own siblings. We were raised in a very conservative, morally strict, religious home with parents who lived within their code. Although most of us kids appropriated a gentler version of that code, all but one (as far as I know) violated the No Sex Without Marriage rule. And the next generation? Dear me! No codes in sight.

      Then again, this is fiction. It is supposed to be fun. What is more fun than dallying with moral codes? If everyone behaved like good Amish folks, where would be the fun in that in a book?

      Liked by 3 people

  3. How do you feel about the fact that Aydan has physical relationships with two men concurrently? Consenting Adults who know the score upon entering the relationship and are NOT violating any criminal laws…(ie, involving children or dead people – ewwwww!!!!!) Not my business and more power to them.
    What makes you feel that way? Everyone has the right to experience love in their own way (within the guidelines above,right!!!) who am I to say they should/shouldn’t do what they desire? (okay….so I do judge if their creepy!!!!!)
    How would your opinion change if Aydan were a male involved with two females? Wouldn’t change a thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s working for them. Consenting adults, and all that. This phrase comes to mind. “Not my circus, not my monkey.” Gad, I love that! So vague, yet so utterly descriptive of so many situations!

    As Laurel mentioned, though, John’s gonna have to deal with some issues for a while, not the least of which is his ex. I gotta say I don’t envy him for that. Borderline whack job, she comes across. Seriously, could she still be that venomous after six years if she were not? Anyway, I’m really glad she’s not MY problem. Just sayin’…

    For that matter, even if John goes his own way–retires, pursues fatherhood with his son, etc.–I still see the distinct possibility of Aydan still having two men in her life. Arnie and Chow.

    Arnie and John had decades of history together before Aydan came along, so there’s that dynamic. But with John out of the picture, that would leave Arnie and Chow…who may have some history, but it doesn’t sound the least bit friendly, based on the one or two comments they have made about each other. Now THAT might be the cause of some conflict.

    I can see a huge pile of possibilities here. And I’m glad all I have to do is read about them instead of plot them and write them. Oh, hi, Diane! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Okay Some Random Guy, did I miss something? Do you know something we don’t? I never got the impression Chow was anywhere near Aydan’s radar….dang, did I miss it? I only read book 11 once, so probably did. I tend to read fast the first time through. Personally I am hoping someone new, not a fellow worker, but maybe in some aspect of the spy realm or someone flirting with the bad guys but winds up playing double agent because of Aydan that will take the place of John.

      What is weird is we are all thinking Aydan should have two (or more) bed partners. She has Arnie for comfort sex (even if it is spectacular) so she needs someone for mind blowing, cannot breath, mini O’s just thinking of sex with him to take Johns place. But she does need more then one because just having physical relationship with Arnie will be too for both to handle.

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      1. i’ve gotten about a FOOT of reply typed in TWICE, and it’s disappeared both times! Enough already. Short and sweet, here it is:

        The way I read Aydan’s and Chow’s interactions in Books 10 and 11, I’m seeing some interest, and I’m convinced that it’s from both parties. Still tentative, perhaps, and both still seem to be leaving themselves a way to back out gracefully if necessary, but I’m convinced it’s there.

        Would such a romance work? Chow I don’t yet have a good handle on. Not enough exposure, obviously. But Aydan? Yes. It could work for her. She has the maturity and the inner ‘centeredness’ (NOT SELF-CENTEREDNESS!! Whole other thing here.) to make it work. If Chow showed her a sincere interest and had enough class not to piss her off outright by being a crass jerk, Aydan clearly could handle it, and I mean for the full long term.

        I’ve gone on and one about this–twice–to no avail, so I’m done here. Holler if anything I’ve babbled about needs clarification. Anyway, that’s why I think a relationship between Aydan and Chow is possible…and viable. Hope this helps.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The way I saw the interaction between them was similar to Stemp and Aydan. Chow is rough around the edges but Aydan doesn’t take any crap and in her way can gain a certain respect from them others don’t get.

          I love the way people can read the same thing but pull differences from it or speculate different outcomes. That’s why I am enjoying these discussions. Makes me think and look at the passages with a different eye. No right and no wrong until Diane sets us straight. When I reread book 11 I’ll keep your thoughts in mind to see if I see what you see.

          Do you think IF something were to develop between Chow and Aydan, he would be as open to Aydan’s no commitment rule like Arnie or have problems with it like John?

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          1. I apologize for the delay in answering your last question, Laurel. And it’s a good one. Frankly, up front, I dunno. Again, not enough exposure to Chow. I’d like to think that a guy with his high level of intellect could handle it. Then again, he has his own history, rough as it is, to deal with as well, and some of his scars are right out there in everybody’s faces. And those scars might not even be the most severe ones.

            Here’s how I see Chow. Hopeful. Just barely, to be sure, but still hopeful.

            He is who he is, but I don’t really think he’s truly happy with who he is, at least not at this stage of his life. He’s gotten a really rotten deal, and he’s trying to make the best of it, but it’s all taken a huge toll. On many levels, obviously.

            He sees his world through the eyes of a seriously injured soldier who will never, ever, be completely whole again. Dreams shot, the whole works. No wonder his bark is absolutely as bad as his bite.

            Could I even remain a functional human being in his place, much less a brilliant and highly productive member of society?

            I’ve thought about being in Chow’s place. A lot, frankly. And I have to say that I just do not know if I could do that or not.

            On the outside, and pretty far down on the inside I think, he’s given up on any kind of normal relationship. Romance? Out of the question. Sexual release? Not without a financial transaction of some sort. So he does whatever he has to do to stay sane–or maintain his current degree of balance, if that’s not precisely the same thing–and he just moves on. Buries himself in his work…and is driven to do so, I think, if for nothing else than to help someone else be able to avoid the type of disaster that befell him.

            BUT…there is that tiny little place down in his farthest recesses that still holds a single little molecule of hope. Just one, mind, but that one little tiny particle is more indestructible than an industrial diamond.

            I think Chow just might be justified in feeding that little dab of hope. Just a snack. A bite or two. Just to keep it alive.

            So, if he doesn’t let his anger or bitterness or whatever other ugly, negative thing is lurking just under the surface to screw it all up irretrievably, I think he and Aydan just might have a shot at the long haul.

            (As an aside, I’ll tell you straight up that I’d much prefer for them not to even start a relationship if it’s not going to work. Aydan would be okay after a little while, but Chow would hurt from it for the rest of his life. He’s worthy of better than that, I think.)

            Aydan has her own healing-up to do, of course. We all know that, and we know why and where it comes from. But John can’t help her past it. He’s who he is, and he’s got his own issues to resolve. Arnie has his own stuff to deal with, too, and we know where that comes from as well. Arnie and Aydan are good for each other in the short term, but they are not forever-together material. They are just not.

            But how about Aydan and Chow? Is it possible that the two of them might be able to heal themselves and each other together?

            Am I willing to offer a wager on it? Not a chance. But am I willing to offer it as a possibility? Absolutely. I’d even go so far as to call it a ‘good’ possibility. Further, deponent sayeth not.

            My nano-penny’s worth. 🙂

            Liked by 2 people

            1. *sigh, it happened to me to…had a lengthy response to this but it wouldn’t let me post it*
              Here it goes again…

              I bow to your psycho-profiling skills. You are opening up these characters with great precision and I am enjoying the insight.

              I agree with your psychoanalysis of Chow. I also feel that if Chow were soften to a relationship it would have to be a slow going thing. He would not allow himself to be vulnerable unless he felt 100% safe and that is not happening with a fast and furious type of romance. And yes, if Ayden and him did get together and it did not last I feel his hurt would end any future possibilities. it would be a one time thing for him. He is to damaged both physically and mentally to allow himself to be that vulnerable again.

              Based on your profile of Chow, I cannot see him agreeing to a friends with benefit role with Ayden. He could not expose himself both mentally and physically to a women knowing he is not the only one. He needs that “being special” to someone before he feels comfortable enough to allow the vulnerabilities of a relationship to happen.

              *arbitrary question…
              Aydan is damaged. Arnie and (yes) John is too. Most certainly Chow is damaged. Everyone has some degree of damage, but these 4 are mega, mega, mega damaged. So…if Ayden is to ever have a committed relationship, should it be with another multi mega damaged soul? What is best for Ayden…two souls stumbling around in the dark or two souls NOT stumbling because one has a flashlight? I feel Ayden needs someone in her life that will carry her through not someone to lean on….the 3 men above do not make the cut.

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              1. Please forgive the typos. I do know when to use to, too, and two, as well as capitalize and punctuate. Fighting with wordpress made me forget to reread. I have no idea if one can edit a post.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Unfortunately, WordPress won’t allow anyone to edit or delete their comments, but don’t worry about the typos – not a big deal. We all understand the situation! WordPress will let me edit comments, though, so if there’s something you really need to change or delete, just let me know and I’ll fix it for you.

                  Here’s an option that might solve both the typo problem and the immensely irritating issue of disappearing comments: You could type your comment in a word processing program and then copy/paste the finished comment into the comment box here. It’s an extra step, but it might be better than busting your butt to write a long insightful comment only to have it eaten. I feel terrible when I hear that people have tried so hard to comment only to be thwarted – I wish I had a better solution!

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              2. I agree. Chow would move slowly and lower the defenses slowly. But if all the stars lined up, so to speak, he’d be in it for the long haul. I think he’d think ‘I have one shot at a forever relationship. If it fails, it won’t be my fault. I’m all the way in.’ My kinda guy. The more I read Chow and the more I consider his character, the more I like him. I find myself rooting for him and cheering for his successes. Again, my kinda guy.

                Liked by 1 person

        2. I’m sorry WordPress keeps eating your comments, @SomeRandomGuy – that’s infuriating! Thanks for persisting in spite of it. (And you might try the Ctrl-C (Copy) trick before you post the comment… or did it ditch your comment before you hit Post?)

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Thank you for being determined to get your point across. I enjoy your take on things. Has definitely had me looking at situations in the book differently.

              Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m with Some Random Guy on this two guy and a gal thing. I think John is out of Aydan’s picture until further notice. I think it is far too early to imagine something with Dr Chow, but I can imagine that Chow would be the jealous, committed sort once he became involved.

    In general, if a couple has promised each other exclusivity then if either one takes another sexual partner without the first partner’s “permission”, it is bad moral behavior regardless of which gender is straying.

    As in Arnie and Aydan’s case, l was kinda hoping that they’d work out a deal that worked for all three in that yurt in the rainforest commune. Possibly a deal that included a simultaneous roll under the sheets for purposes more than comfort and warmth even though Arnie ruled it out as being somehow incestuous many books ago. As fun as it is to imagine, I would think it would actually be very difficult to do without bruising feelings somewhere through the escapade. Two women with one man would never produce even one happy woman- unless they dislike sex with men yet want children. Yuk! It is such a post-Noah and the flood idea for repopulating the earth. Archaic. So out of step with the current needs for the earth. So out of step with our current attitude about children no longer being a source of labor and wealth in a family, and instead being a huge financial liability throughout childhood.

    Oops. Aren’t you all glad I didn’t choose to have kids?

    I’m a little intrigued by the timing of the question, Diane. This next book should have Kane getting his head back on straight, which means backing off from any sexual intimacy with Aydan, getting a handle on fatherhood and negotiating a peace treaty with his ex-wife for the benefit of their son. So just WHY do you want to feel the pulse of your loyal readers on just how slutty it is to be having non-monogamous sex? Has Lynn actually figured it out? Is the triangle to be reconfigured with Chow? Was Kane too traditionally good-looking? Boring? He did have his moments as a gourmet cook, a former exotic dancer, and a children’s author/illustrator. Bring it on. You’ll just need to start over with your team voting poll.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No ulterior motives here! I’ve got Book 12 plotted out already so this is just for my own interest. (And I probably shouldn’t admit it, but I’m testing to see what preconceptions I’ve created. Then I get to choose which I’ll fulfill and which I’ll twist all to hell. Muwahahahaha!!!)

      Oops. *smothers remainder of evil laughter and puts on innocent expression*

      As to the ‘why’ of it: This question was actually prompted by a couple of letters I’ve received, including opinions like “the sex scenes make Aydan look like a flaky whore” and “Aydan treats John like dirt”.

      The former was clearly written by someone who thinks sex is intrinsically dirty and any woman who enjoys it is therefore of debased morals, so I didn’t take it as a representative sample of my readers’ attitudes. (But, boy, do I feel sorry for the writer of that letter – it must suck to go through life thinking that way.)

      The latter was interesting because it highlighted the dichotomy between what’s considered acceptable behaviour for women vs. what’s acceptable for men. Here we have Arnie cheerfully screwing his way through the city’s female population; John’s hitting the sheets with female spies; but it’s Aydan who’s treating John like dirt because she doesn’t want a committed relationship with him… even though she told him that right from the start.

      Having been reminded of those attitudes, I thought it would be fun to poll the VBBC and see what came up. So to speak. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. excuse the language a moment, but why is a guy why beds loads of women a stud, and a woman who does the does a slut.

        it really boils my blood, as a ‘slut’ I have to say I’ve had great fun, I have ok had as I don’t do it much these days I got fussy.
        women have every right to bed as many guys as they like, I’ve never been married, I don’t really want to unless I can find a guy that can satisfy me the way I have the right to be satisfied. I have an honestly policy, I tell said guy I have no intention of going ‘out’ with him, I don’t mind taking him to bed but I’m not going to be seen out with his mates or my mates, I wont meet them he wont meet my mates, this is sex end of.

        surprisingly a lot of men cant handle that I have no emotional want or need for them beyond the tussle in the bedroom.
        its not for all guys, same as its not for all women.
        maybe my brain is wired differently or maybe its because I um had a couple of not so great experiences when I was young and I learned that sex doesn’t have to be the same as love.

        I know what love is and I know what sex is and they are very different, for me anyway.

        ok mini rant over now I’m stepping away from the keyboard for now

        Liked by 2 people

      2. It occurred to me a lot of years ago that there is a huge difference in the way that a significant fraction of our society perceives ongoing lifestyles of multiple-partner sex between genders. As you say, our society says that if a single guy drills every female he sees, more power to him. Conversely, it says that if a single woman does likewise with every guy she lays eyes on, she’s called a wide variety of derogatory names. Usually by both genders.

        I’m talking about single people here. If the, er, subject, so to speak is married, then that’s a whole other thing entirely and not what we’re talking about at all, right? Can we all agree that we’re talking ONLY about single people of both genders on either end of this deal? Are we good with that?

        Okay, assuming that everyone IS good with that, then my question(s) is(are) this(these):

        1. WHY?

        2. Both genders have the same wants/needs, right? (I’m not looking for a medical-grade list of the clinical details of the differences between the male and female libido, okay? Just a general yes or no will do, thank you very much.)

        3. Must one gender repress, ignore, or otherwise minimize the importance of such fulfillment and, therefore, do without said fulfillment?

        Feel free to spill your guts. Or not. After all, this is not my blog, is it? 🙂

        (So, Diane, do you think this might stir the pot a little?)

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Great pot-stirring, @SomeRandomGuy! I agree that we’re only talking single people here. Anybody who’s in a marriage where they’ve vowed to ‘forsake all others’ is just a shitbag if they break that promise. And I feel the same way about single people who have led a partner to believe that they’re exclusive.

          So, assuming all the cards are on the table and both (or all) partners are clear that a relationship is non-exclusive:

          1) Why? Because we as a society are still getting over the notion that women are commodities. Back in the bad old days, if the invaders carried off all your women, your line died out. And if you were the invaders with all the women, your line flourished. Simple biological imperative, and the women, being smaller, weaker, and outnumbered, had no choice. And it was to the male advantage to keep it that way. The women, being powerless in the larger sense, could only influence their status within the group by currying favour with the ruling powers. Men wanted women who were ‘pure’ (read ‘monogamous’ or ‘virgins’, which was likely partly ego and partly a practical way to avoid transmission of disease), so that quality (or the appearance of it) became valued by women, too, and they despised those who were ‘impure’ simply as a means of elevating their own status. Sadly, even though the original biological imperative no longer applies, the behaviours persist because there’s still a perceived reward of status among some groups of both men and women.

          And to be honest, for all our so-called progress, it wouldn’t take much to recreate that bad old dynamic. All it takes is threats and violence against scattered groups of women and the rest will tend to comply because, let’s face it, women are still generally smaller and weaker than men. Just look at what happened to women’s ‘rights’ in the Middle East – here it is in a one minute video:

          2) Biologically, yes, I think men and women have the same needs. But societal pressures have tended to subvert those needs, encouraging them in men and discouraging them in women, and those attitudes are deep-seated. Even now in some parts of our so-called ‘advanced’ society, little girls are being taught that ‘those parts of their bodies’ are ‘bad’ and ‘dirty’; so shameful that they’re not even to be named, certainly never to be touched. Some parents teach children of both genders that sex is dirty and shameful. Add that to the fact that at least one in four females will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime (many assaults are never reported, so that’s probably a conservative statistic), and you can see why some women experience little to no desire, and little to no pleasure even if they do have sex. And somehow “I don’t enjoy that” has translated to “No woman should enjoy that, and if they do, they’re dirty whores”.

          3) Ideally, nobody should have to repress or minimize the importance of their needs. But those who fear censure or reprisal tend to see minimizing their needs as a safer course of action.

          Liked by 2 people

            1. The “100 years of fashion/beauty” videos are a lot of fun – all available on YouTube. They’ve done videos for men’s and women’s fashion/beauty in a bunch of different countries including Korea, the USA, and the UK. The Iran one is a bit of an eye-opener, but the rest are pure entertainment. It’s fascinating to identify cultural differences and similarities just by watching the progression of fashion and beauty ideals!

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          1. Just to be clear, I understand that marriages aren’t always what the participants expected, and I’ve got no problem if both parties agree to a change of terms; or if it’s just not working out and they go their separate ways with or without formally divorcing. But pretending to be exclusive while secretly screwing around = shitbag in my books.

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            1. I think anyone who cheats isn’t worth the air they breath unless its agreed with the significant other that they are able to.

              open relationship yes but I’m not so sure on the open marriage, yes its strange but if you committed to one person work at it or end it before you stray

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              1. Oh dear, open marriages! I once had a glimpse into a supposedly happy open marriage.

                My sister became the mistress in such a marriage. I was roommates with her at the time. She admired him for his knowledge of macrobiotic diet. She was a Zen Buddhist for the previous 5 years and she had hopes of adding to her physical and spiritual wellbeing by the more focused diet. Plus my sister is one of the most gullible people I know.

                She innocently believed that his wife would happily go along with the plan. He invited her home to meet his wife and child and they reportedly all were very polite to each other. I imagine that the wife pragmaticly decided to agree that her selfish husband do what he would do anyway and better a straying but not dishonest husband who will continue to provide than an ex who splits his assets and she becomes a single parent of a very young child who can’t afford the daycare to even try to work and to try to live on a fraction of what is currently available. She can always divorce the AH once the kid is in school.

                [Graphic content alert! Skip this paragraph if you dislike too much information.]. I obviously didn’t respect the guy. I found him to be a very critical, selfish, pompous @$$ with no sense of appropriate boundaries. He’d show up moments after I returned home from working my day shift at a nursing home smelling too much like human waste because they didn’t then provide gloves for the caregiving staff to use when cleaning up the big messes. Back then disposable adult diapers were yet to be developed and we were expected to finish our shifts even if we’d just had our uniforms blasted brown. Oh and feed the residents two meals as well. Shocking that everyone remained as healthy as they did under those conditions.

                I just wanted to take a shower and nap and the AH wanted to wait inside and be entertained by me until my sister returned from school where she was working on a Masters degree. I’m sure he knew full well what time she usually came home but between his lame excuses and my Minnesota Nice, I wasn’t rude. He’d complain how he couldn’t find swim trunks small enough to stay up on his emaciated body without purchasing them in the children’s department.

                Once my sister came home he’d teach her how to make a disgusting pot of seaweed slop to throw over rice all the while expounding on the virtues of balancing yin and yang and warning her not to cook things too fast and how important it is to eat locally grown food. Since when has Minnesota produced brown rice or seaweed? And we’d likely starve all winter. (Sorry if you are getting the impression that I dislike Asian foods. I love most of what I’ve had when prepared by a person who can cook, but this guy was not a gourmet anything.) He would yell at my sister because she made oatmeal wrong and she just took the criticism and I wished I could ban him from our apartment, but that wouldn’t work well for either of us.

                Long story conclusion, the power dynamics in a marriage are such that a woman is usually left less well off after a split unless she has better funding than the man. Unless the couple agrees to an open marriage before the wedding, and before adding children to the family, I’d be doubtful that both partners willingly agreed to it. The whole idea is particularly unappealing to me since I was abused as a child if I were anything except docile, compliant, and agreeable to my elder’s plans or demands. I wondered if my sister either didn’t see what a jerk he was or felt she wasn’t worthy of having a man without having to steal him from his family and to be treated with respect. Did she even concern herself with the insecure feelings the child might be feeling when her father seldom comes home anymore and when he does he’s got a female guest with him?

                I can’t imagine open marriages working out to everyone’s satisfaction except in the rarest cases and they wouldn’t be polling the children in that situation.

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          2. One other consideration on the traditional value of purity for women and the sanctions/restrictions imposed to keep them monogamous was ensuring any children produced were from the “correct” male. Raising children is a huge commitment of time and resources and men had an intrinsic interest in making sure their genetics were the ones being nurtured. Also children would eventually inherit and land, money and other assets the family had amassed, another good reason to value chastity and monogamy in the days before testing was available to determine parentage.

            As part of that social conditioning women were encouraged to see sex as a necessary evil they needed to endure in order to have children. If you are conditioned to see sex as unpleasant you would be less likely to seek sexual encounters outside of the relationship.

            On the flip side for men, the more children they could engender the better chance their genes would have to be passed along into the future. Especially back when infant and childhood mortality rates were very high.

            To your point, even though the reasons behind the attitudes may no longer exist society is not quick to change and damaging lessons are still being passed along today.

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  6. No problem here with the physical relationships as they have developed. The evolution has happened over so many books that it seems like a very natural progression, particularly in light of Aydan’s life experiences and the personalities of the guys.

    I appreciate when a character has logical reasons for their relationship behaviors and quirks. At this point it would seem untrue to Aydan’s personality to actually settle with one person exclusively. I also like that she has these two guys she trusts and is able to be vulnerable with. I would think that only having one person to fill that role might be too close to an unhealthy dependency in her mind. This way she can be close to both but also at arm’s length from them if that make sense.

    Same if it were one guy and two women, if they are all upfront in their expectations and needs then who am I to judge the relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Well, to each their own. As one of the readers said, Aydan has said from the beginning that she will not commit to anyone and both guys know her situation with each other. As for myself, I am a one-man woman but then again, this is Aydan and both guys know. Of course, I think John has more of a problem than Hellhound does but Hellhound is the same as Aydan – commitment-phobia.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I’m a romantic at heart, which means that true love cannot be shared.
    The relationship that Ayden has with Hellhound is not love, it’s unconditional friendship with the benefit of sex.
    I think her fears are running her when it comes to love. Her love for John is true, but her fear is so great that she doesn’t know how to deal with it.
    Thus, being a true romantic I believe that John will find the way to save Ayden from her fears.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree Barbara….I think there is love there between John and Aydan, which is why they have all the conflict. I admit freely, that I am like you, a die hard romantic. I blame Disney and all the “happily ever afters”!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Chow? Fuck! My kindle is kaput and I don’t know Chow. Dammit!!!!

    That being said, Aydan is my most favorite fictional character and I have zero problem with her sexual choices. John bugs me and Arnie gives me hope that at 49 I might find an excellent lover, too!

    Chow. :&”~{^!!!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Karen is absolutely right. Since I downloaded the Kindle app for my phone, I haven’t touched my Kindle. Granted, the bigger the screen, the better the experience, but I used the iBook app on an iPhone 4S, so just about any phone is doable. Try the Kindle app. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it.

        And good call, Karen.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I hardly pick up my ereader these days I love my kobo but you can’t beat a paperback, I do have the kindle app on my tablet.

          I sound like an addict to books ok I admit I am an addict

          I just love books and Diane’s are great, I still can’t believe it took me so long to find them, it must have ben on my kobo for a good 6 months before I read it (the first one) but I devoured them all in days. Diane needs to write faster or I need to read slower, mind the wait for the next one is nice means you can re-read and catch up with old friends.

          does anyone else find it hard to put it down if it means leaving Aydan in peril? I think right go to bed at the end of the chapter and something happens and I can’t leave her there I have to have her safe before I sleep.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. I am soooooo addicted to my Nook Tablet. I carry it with me everywhere…PLUS I have the app on my phone and my laptop. I couldn’t handle it if I couldn’t have something to read. I actually was at the dog park when my Nook battery died and I freaked out! LOL That’s when I went an downloaded the Nook app to my phone. It syncs the devices as asks if you would like to go to the page you were on most recently!!!! LOVE IT!

            ALSO… I find myself staying up into the night to read if Aydan is in peril!!! I’ve re-read the books a few times and each time I glean something new out of them. I love the conversations we have about the books, so many different perspectives on the same stories!!! So amazing to me that we all get something just a smidge different out of them!

            Liked by 1 person

    1. HA! Christina….Me, too! Arnie revs my motor, and I find myself, at 48, thinking that there might be an Arnie out here in Iowa, too. I hope he has that nice deep, gravely voice! YUM! HAHA

      Liked by 1 person

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